Do you have moments when you wonder where you are going and when you're going to get there? I've come to the conclusion that the answer for me is "Everywhere and never"!!
I'm so glad that God's plan is bigger than I can even imagine, because it takes me in so many directions that keep me alive and growing. I've finished all the classes for Healing Touch now, and I'm working on finishing up the final details for certification. Now that I've completed the classes, I'm slowing down and not pushing so hard as I have been over the last year. My deadlines are finished, and the actual certification can wait.
The Healing Touch work I am doing is so fulfilling. I have believed in this work for a long time, but it is always a challenge for me to believe I am doing it. In the past weeks, I've been the facilitator of work that has improved the lives of several people I work with. And I'm always amazed. Should I be? I don't know. I believe in the work, the process. What is the amazing part is that I am capable of being part of it! Here's why ....
I'm a "healer." I have been for a long time, as a friend, as a mom and a daughter and a sister, as a mental health counselor, and in many other roles. It is something that goes back to my childhood, as I can see in retrospect. I didn't identify it in that way until recently, although there are several people through my life who have said so to me. I poo-pooed it and just moved on. Or, in some of those remarks, I read it to be the skills I had as a clinical social worker, a mental health healer. I just didn't see the underlying trait that goes back to early childhood. Now I do, but I'm still in a state of amazement.
The most amazing part of this for me is that it isn't me. Yes, I have that trait. But it isn't me, except that I have opened myself to possibilities. I have a mantra which I say almost every day. It is "Make me a vessel." I say that because I know my work is not me. It comes from a higher power, call it God or the Universe or Spirit. This energy or power is poured into me, the vessel, and I pour it into my clients, my friends, my family.
When I say "I'm a healer," I don't mean "I'm a healer," I mean "I'm a healer." I don't believe I do the healing, but I'm a willing, trained conduit for the healing process. In the same vein, when I was doing psychotherapy, I didn't see myself as the one who did the change, rather the one who guided clients to make choices that changed their lives. I was good at my job, but they made the changes. I was the vessel. I am the vessel now.
Over the last several years, but particularly the last 18 months, I've experienced a number of tough events. Health issues, nasty work events, people who chose to not be in my life, fear of losing my home to fire, a senseless rear-end wreck, etc. I've questioned why. I've no answers. Until recently.
I'm finally understanding some of it. I was reluctant to take the steps to become trained in Healing Touch, and some of these events which challenged my faith in my Higher Power or at least in the wisdom and sense of fairness of that higher power, have encouraged changes in my path, my decisions. I'm stubborn. I'm hard headed. Sometimes I need a kick in the tush to make changes in my life. I see the hardships as pivotal. I've not lost anything of importance, only things that were holding me back from making decisions. And what I've gained .... unbelievable!
Every day I'm realizing my blessings, old ones and new. I love this work. I love seeing the improvement in lives as I work with people. Energy is everywhere, we are energy, and energy has no bounds. Our energies overlap, or more accurately all energy is one. So when I work with a client, I'm simply directing our energy in helpful ways. It still blows my socks off when I see the result! I have three clients who have had chronic pain lasting years. After a few weeks, all three are markedly improved, having only minor pain occasionally. In another person, I discovered a spinal curvature, probably result of a serious fall she had almost a year ago which damaged many parts of her body. After working on her, the spine actually straightened! I was humbled to be the vessel in all of these, but actually seeing the bones of the spine being moved into alignment .... how could I not believe in the power?
And it's not me. I'm just the guide, the facilitator. I'm just happy to be trained to help this happen. And I'm really thankful for the events that led me to this work.